Wednesday, June 15, 2016

On Being Average

Just recently, I came across a post about being average—that there’s nothing wrong about not being on the extremes. It just kept me thinking about things that I had to write this post even though I know that I have lots of academic stuff to do. Priorities, I know. But I promise I'll try my best to make a point.

The thing is, one is only considered to be under the spotlight if either he or she is on the margins. People who do not meet the standards of the society are called suckers, losers, unprivileged while those who exceed expectations are called exceptional, special, commendable. You know what I think? I think that’s so unfair. How about those who actually meet the standards, who actually do something that somehow contributes to the greater good? Why do we keep on appreciating only those who stand out? Why can’t we be on the middle to be considered successful? 

I just hate it how life is designed to be lived like that. People teach you to excel because that’s how the world will consider you as a winner. We only begin to acknowledge people’s talents when they actually do something that has never been done by other people before. But is it possible for each one of us to be able to do that? I’m sure all of us heard the familiar pep talk that our elders give us--we are surely meant to be exceptional at one aspect of life. Sure, I believe that. But we fail to realise that if all of us are truly exceptional, then there are others who also are, aside from ourselves. And if there are those who are so much better than us, then it should feel like it’s okay. I think having other people better than you doesn’t make you or your talents less. I think that’s just how life works: there will always be someone who is better, greater, smarter than you. But that doesn't and shouldn’t mean that you’re less. But them getting the award, for example, makes you feel like you are. And it's not supposed to be like that. Because as long as these people exist, and I tell you they will keep on existing, you'll never take the credit for doing something right. 

So tell me, how does one really win at life? 

P.S. I wrote this during the hell week last sem and I forgot to post it. More reflection posts soon! I may or may not be taking a break from outfit posting. 


Wednesday, December 30, 2015

2015: What a Year!

Some years are considered tougher than the rest. And for me, 2015 is one of those years. I felt that it was too much for me to handle. Honestly, I never really thought of how hard it was to survive the year until I read my previous diary pages. I feel horrified to read them because I never really expected myself to go through such an emotional run because I'm never that kind of person. But then now that this year is ending, I feel like confronting all these things--all the fears, regrets and shortcomings that made me feel terrible a couple of times but also made me strong.

After all, there's no better way to move on than to look back. Few days ago, I asked some of you to drop by my account and tell me some things that you think I need to change about myself. I intended to hear from you and before I posted that, I grounded myself to accept all the criticisms even how hurtful they may be. Here are the things that I received and I'll try my best to respond to them. Note that I am in no way trying to defend myself but just letting you hear my side of the story. Plus, I had some important realizations too, which might help you. Give my dama a try.

1. On fitting in
“You cut off people from your life so easily, as soon as you find new ones who you could, idk, blend in?”
-I guess all of us have problems about finding our own circle. We can deny this truth by saying that we don't really care or that we don't want conformity. But hello, even how much you refuse to be controlled by the people around you, you still are because you don't want to be alone for the rest of your life. I mean who wants to be, right? One way or another, you are gonna need to find people who you can be around and work things out even how messed up your life can be. I don't celebrate cliquish mentality but if that's what's gonna let you survive then I don't see any problem with that. What I have learned, though, is that even though you have a secured group of friends, you should not limit yourself from hanging out with them alone. Go out. Maintain friendship with old pals. And most importantly, remain friends with your true self. 

2. On choices
“Tbh, paasa ka without you noticing it.”
-This one's weird! But okay, I'm gonna have a take on it. I guess I'm just naturally complicated. I can be really ironic, indecisive and even insensitive. I don't mean to make people hope for something that's not going to happen because I don't like someone to do that to me, too. That's just cruel. But let's be real here: I can't know what's inside people's minds or what people feel inside their hearts. I don't and I can't know everything and it's okay. However you know me, that's how I live my life. And If ever I stir up your emotions whenever I say or do something, I don't really think that that's my problem but yours. Take control, man! Or else tell me.

3. On being real
“You act like you are confident but you really are not. And you have to be because why not?”
-Fine, it's true that I lost more than 50% of my confidence this year. It was shattering to see it all go just like that, after I recall how much effort I exerted to gain it. It was only this year that I realized how something so important and private can be taken away from you. But nope, you can't blame anyone but yourself. It was my fault. I was the one who didn't stand up for herself when she felt offended. I was the one who didn't raise her hand when she had the perfect answer that can blow her professor's mind. I was the one who didn't comfort a friend when she knew that she needed to. It was all on me. Sometimes, you just got to do it. Just stop overthinking about what if's and just play the game. Because once the momentum is gone, you just sit there and see a perfect opportunity go to waste. You're left with more what if's, only more painful than the ones before.

4. On making friends
“You don’t open up. Maybe you’re just naturally quiet or shy. But some find it hard to make conversation with you.”
-I was raised being constantly reminded how the world can be so treacherous. I appreciate privacy. I have trust issues. I hate to be judged. It turns out I have completely been so hard on myself and on others as well. It's just hard to please everyone and I guess that's the biggest mistake that I have ever committed this year. And I think it's time to forget about the impression of other people about me. I'm going to live my life and I will not stop myself from doing something so groundbreaking just because I don't like people to hate me or say something behind my back. A friend once told me that it's okay to have people hating on something you do because it just proves that for once in your life, you fought for something important to you. And I believe that each one of us deserves to fight for something so improtant to our identity.

5. On trying hard
"Try hard mo to be famous, sobrang smart and successful."
-Okay, this is just absurd but it still hit me right through the most vulnerable part of my heart. I mean, seriously? What's wrong with trying so hard for things that you want in life? And yes, I want to be smarter than I am now because I don't think this can take me to wherever I desire to be. Yes, I also want to be successful and be happy. Yes, I want to be known for something that I can do best. And I know that you also have a fair share of desires that give you a reason to keep on going. I don't know with you, but I will keep these good desires alive. So that in times when my vision of a happy world is clouded by the cruelty of humanity, I can always pause and remember why I have a life that is so worthy to be lived and shared.

There will be a lot of things that I need to do in order to achieve that new-year-new-me tag. But I guess I don't really need a new me. I can never be new, because that would mean I'm going to throw away everything about my life just to create my ideal self. And honestly, no matter how 2015 sucked, I can't afford to do that because there will always be special people, dreams and memories that will make me grateful of how I have been given with this kind of life. 

There will be a lot of escaping from comfort zones, taking risks, leaving expectations behind and more adventures that I am still about to find out. It's a challenge. 2016, bring it on.


Sunday, May 31, 2015

Little Black Dress

I attended Ate's graduation and I decided to wear this black version of my other sister's dress. We were twinning the whole day like good old times. I completely love how this look turned out!
Look at those simple details... yet so edgy!
Dress is from SM GTW. Earrings are from Dior (My favorite!). 
No make up make up: I just used that eye shadow palette from Body Shop, Covergirl Liquid Foundation , Body Shop Insta Blur for my eye and a MAC Lipstick.

Did you miss my outfit posts? Reach me on any of my accounts! I'm so excited to post my other looks. I thought of creating a separate fashion diary but then I'd better not. I think I love this blog so much. And the readers, too!  


Tuesday, March 17, 2015

I Chose Red

I know that it's kinda late to post about my last high school promenade. Because duh, it's like March already. But as what I have said, it's my last prom. Therefore, it's special and it needs to be posted! 
Photo by RR Metro Image
I was honestly very very excited for prom. If I remember it right, I started preparing for it early December of 2014. Go ahead and judge me, but I got really happy when I knew that we're allowed to wear red. I mean, pink is still my favourite colour but I have been wanting to wear red ever since I can remember! So, yup I chose red even though  I knew that a lot would choose it too. 
Photo by Vista de Lente
Every event, it's a tradition for me to choose an inspiration for my dress, my hair and make up and my shoes and accessories. This year, I chose Valentino as my style inspiration because I feel like they are the best in designing elegant dresses, especially when they come in red. Then, I chose Marian Rivera as my hair and make up inspiration, specifically her look during her famous wedding. For my shoes and accessories, I was inspired by Audrey Hepburn, with all the blacks and crystals--just to achieve pure elegance. 

Photo by RR Metro Image
Since it's my last prom, I decided to capture as many individual pictures as I could. Call me vain or whatever (because I maybe am), but I really had fun doing the shoots. The first one was with Metro Image and the second one was with Vista de Lente Lifestyle Photography. Both gave me really good pictures and I want to share some of the best shots with you.

From Metro Image:

From Vista de Lente:

The dress was a gift. Shoes from SM Shoes and Bags. Clutch bag from Charles and Keith. Jewelry from Karat World. Hair and Make up by Katie's Home Salon.

Prom blogpost number two is about my last hs prom experience. It's coming up in the blog real soon!


Saturday, January 3, 2015

New Year's Eve

New year's eve is our most awaited family gathering. It's the time when we come home to our old house in the province. My siblings come home all the way from Manila, my parents are not busy and I get a day off from books and internet. Awaiting for the new year is just so exciting!
Love this pink greeting by
We used to celebrate new year's eve grandly. I remember when I was around ten or eleven years old, Kuya and Papa really bought huge loads of firecrackers. Until that tragic typhoon Sendong struck the country, and we all realized how insensitive we were to enjoy the colors of expensive fireworks, while others were suffering from hunger and loss. And so we began to celebrate new yea's eve  in its simplest, most meaningful way possible.

Matchy-matchy pyjamas with my main girls! 
I don't really drink wine, but I love this picture! Photo by Jermone Muarip
I eat a lot during New Year's. My most favourite food served every year is the roasted chicken. I'll save the fruits for later, when everyone's over with the delicious food. It's always my first cheat day, because I think that the following days must be allotted for eating a balanced diet. 2015 is all about fitspiration, I hope!
Our media-noche table. 

It's tradition to take a photo together.

Selfie with Ate Jermine.  This year is going to be challenging for her, but I know that she can do it. 
With Kuya Mon. We're both graduating this year and I'll support him with his plans.

With Mai. This year, she knows her goals. Praying for her success.
Mama and Papa always love to take a picture together. This year, I think I'll just wish them good health and happiness
Many people ask me if what are my resolutions for this year. Well, I attempted to scribble New Year's resolutions in a piece of paper a couple of times before, but it never really worked for me. I mean, I may be that typical girl who loves to document or plan everything, but my goals are different. Yes, I set goals. But I am not fond of associating time with goals. It's as if I know what I want to achieve, but I never pressure myself into achieving it. I don't know if it works for everyone, but it does for me. I choose my goals wisely and I work for them as hard as I can, but I don't rush things. As the old saying goes, there's always time for everything, but it doesn't mean you just wait for it. It's important to act, too.
Photo by Jermone Muarip
Photo by Jermone Muarip
I remembered I wore blue last time, well, for this year, I chose to wear marsala. It's the lucky color and it's really fun to try. I actually just borrowed this dress from my eldest sister, because it fits me well. This dress is from SM Department Store, where there is a huge variety of casual dresses to choose from. I like to dress simply for family gatherings, it describes my natural style--simple, elegant, classy. 
Photo by Jermone Muarip
We went home at around 11PM so I didn't have much time to fix myself. I decided to sneak into my sisters' make-up kit and found a MAC lipstick that perfectly goes with my dress. I don't wear much make-up on simple occasions, but I can never go wrong with lipstick. 

Family picture <3
I pray that this 2015, I'll make the right choices and I'll always stay strong. I think that I'm ready for all the challenges, because I know that I learned so much from the past years. Plus, I am confident that there are people who will always be there to support me. It's selfish to wish for 2015 to be my year, so I want it to be everyone's year. I hope that I won't be the only one who will make the most of it, because everyone deserves to do so. 
View of Malamawi Island, Basilan
We spent our New Year morning on a beach. I went all haggard from the celebration the night before, but I really enjoyed the beach. I had fun jet skiing, as usual. The sea is always perfect. Every time, I go there, I feel a different kind of freedom. 
With Mom and sibs.
I'm going to miss my chill life in the province, but I'm really excited about what's in store for me this 2015. I can't wait for school, because it's almost graduation and we all know what that means. The thought of college quite scares me for now, but I'm also excited for a new chapter. 

I shall thank you for taking time to read this. Happy new year to you and your family!


Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Reasons Why I Love 2014

Many people want to fast forward to 2015 because they think that 2014 wasn't their year. But for me, I always want to look back. 2014 is like my favorite book, with colorful pages that I'll never get tired of flipping. It wasn't exactly a perfect year, but it was surely beautiful. Before the year ends, I want to share some significant moments that made my 2014 unlike any other year.

1. PYLP 11. It's quite obvious if you look at my previous blogposts. But I'll never get tired of spilling how much thankful I am that God willed me to seize that kind of opportunity. I got a taste of independence, it somehow prepared me to what's out there this coming 2015. Plus, it actually changed me for the better. I realized what it really takes to become a better person--you have to think of greater things that others seem to ignore.

2. Debate tournaments. It's quite a roller coaster for a rookie like me. I participated in a couple of tournaments and exchanged thoughts with different people. Debating is just a part of me now, that I never want to let go. It's not just about 7 minutes of talking in front of people, there are so many other meaningful things in between. It would be ridiculous to say that awards don't matter, because every debater works hard and usually gets what he or she deserves. But there are so much more than that. My debating career in 2014 allowed me to become more open-minded, determined and sensitive. Debate made me strong.

3. Senior year. Yup, high school is about to end! 2014 was so good because I felt like I built more connection with the people in my school. Let's face it, my grades did drop so much. But it never really discouraged me to motivate myself and inspire others. Thank God for the amazing people around me, who keep on believing in me even in times when I could not afford to believe in myself anymore. You know who you guys are.

4. Good times with Faber. Even the smallest thing, like eating at a local shawarma place meant so much to me. It's never a dull moment when I am with them. School did really stress us for so many times, but when we got to do things together, school activities weren't really dull. Sooner, I'm going to miss these things. We are on the clingy stage, and it will be so painful to let go soon. 

5. Chill with ACE. We're not really into intellectual stuff when we're together. We're into eating, a lot.I just love these people, I'm not sure how to say goodbye to them and to our small gatherings. When we're out together, it's always about the laughter and bonding. Thirteen thanks to all the memories we shared.

6. Stylista life. 2014 has also been stylish for me. I can say that it's the year when I discovered my fashionista self and unleashed my passion for fashion. I'm always thankful because if not for 2014, I might never see meaning in colors and patterns. You'll be seeing more of my style this 2015, promise!

7. A happy family. My parents played a huge role all my life, and in 2014, I can say that they did a pretty great job. They supported me with my plans and they constantly remind me to follow my heart. My siblings are the best, as always! This 2015, we will have more fun time for sure. 

8. Meet and greet with James Reid. I never thought I would post this here, but It was truly a great day. Thanks, Aira for the ticket. I will watch out for James and Nadine this 2015. Not that I am a hardcore fan or what, but I can call myself a supporter. 

9. Project BECAUSE. It's always fun to do something you love, right? I am really thankful that such school activity existed. Being a CEO made me realize that I am really inclined to business, and so I shall nurture this passion this 2015. Thanks to all the people who supported me and my team in this micro business. (I told you, I'll paint the world pink one step at a time!) Like our page here:

10. Blogging! It's been a beautiful year and blogging all the amazing things that happened to me is worth it. I just love typing and taking pictures and sharing all of them to the people who want to read them. That's why all the positive feedback about my blog mean a lot to me. I'll, once again, try to be an active blogger because something always awaits as long as I have this hobby.

2014 has been a crazy, fantastic year. I don't say that it was all about happy times, because there were so many challenges that I had to face. Maybe the reason why I still find it necessary to say thanks for the year, is because I find happiness in everything. It's a beautiful world, indeed! Life is too short for wasting time, that's why I always make the most out of it. For the record, you should, too.



Saturday, December 6, 2014

AtFest 2014

Credits: Ateneo Fiesta FB page
It's one of my favourite times of the year as an Atenean. It's that time of the year when I get to distress from all my academics and chill. But more than that, it's that time of the year when I get to appreciate the real value of being an Atenean--that behind everyone's festive mood, lies a strong sense of comradeship within the community and effort to become men and women for others. 

I personally liked this year's concept. It's great how peace and culture was inculcated in the festival. Plus, the event had so many sponsors! I wasn't that hyper this year, though. So I'm going to post my so-called "highlights" of Atfest 2014. 

Atfest Frame! 
Day 1 and 2 were so chill. I went to school because our attendance was checked. I also looked around, explored the booths and watched different sport events. Supported high school teams together with my friends, of course!
FOURever Babes, reunited! Creds, Debra.
HS booth won 2nd place! Congrats, friends. 
Day 3 and 4 were my favourite, because I finally had something serious to do. I represented HS Falcons in this year's Ateneo Fietsta Debate Championships together with my ADC family. I partnered up with Fiona. We reached the semis, yay! It was a proud moment when the team of John and Hans was announced as the tournament's champion. Plus, four of us were in the top 10 best speakers. High school kids were definitely slaying! (HAHAHA okay, mayabang na ba. Sorry.) Still so, so proud! This, by the way, is probably my last debate tournament. I don't know, I don't think I'm ready to let go of debating just yet.

Two years ago, we made a pact to team up for Atfest Debates again. And, it happened!
After the breaks of Day 3, we headed right away to the HS campus for the High School Night (HS BEST 2014). That event was also very fun! It was all about dancing and screaming in colour! Expectations were met for my last High School night. 
Taken by my supportive mother. LOL.
So, I felt like it's been so long since I last posted a detailed outfit post. My camera's memory card was messed up, so everything was taken using a phone. Sorry for the quality, but here you go!
Yes, this is a selfie. Hush!
They said we were encouraged to wear something colourful. Don't get me wrong, but I didn't have time to look for a colourful dress so I decided to wear this simple, conservative one (so as to follow dress code). I got the laced dress from Cara Delevigne x Penshoppe for a very affordable price. The colourful gemed belt was from Cotton On. The pink emblem on its middle matched my pink Barbie shoes from Shubizz. That's pretty it. I didn't have time to accessorize too much because I changed in our high school comfort rooms. I wasn't THAT underdressed, was I? 
Selfie again!
For my look readers, I'm sorry I don't have anything for you because I didn't apply anything. I know, I looked so plain. I didn't even do anything with my hair. I just let it down to remove my game-on-debater-face. HA-HA! I'll make it up to you guys, next time. 
Credits, Reema Jumsali. 
Day 5 was the torch parade and alumni day. It was fun, too. But I went home early because I was surprisingly not in the mood... or I really just wanted to sleep. 
Fun day with Faber and other batch mates!
Day 6 and 7 are my chill days. I won't go to school because I need time to catch up with school requirements. But, congrats to the champions! 

I feel like it's fun and meaningful to be part of AdZU community. Now, I'm talking about my college plans. The confusion is real, guys.

Anyway, one week before exams. This is going to be a tough one. But anyway, so many plans for December. Roughly 3 months before March and hell, everyone knows what that means. 

Till the next post! Sorry for my messy layout by the way. :(